For Dogs' eyes only

OK. Here's the deal for all you orthodogs. You have to look at boredom as a game you can play in and of itself. You should see how I am making my mom dance all over the place. Today, well, I was soooo soo so very bored. And I kept looking at mom when she was studying and wagging my tail. She asked if I needed to go outside. Nope. Did I want her to pick me up and put me on the couch? Nope. Did I want belly rubs. Those are nice, but nope. Finally, I made her stop studying and sit on the floor with me so I could lay upside down in her lap. . .what a pushover! And she used to hold the handle of the leash. I'm never letting her live this down. .. I mean, when I can run again. Clearly, I am the alpha dog.

Then later, still bored, so I just stared her down. Finally, she asked me to bring her the duck that quacks (I like that toy). It is in the toy basket and I can walk that far; it is much much farther to walk outside and go potty, which, by the way, I hate to do, and mom makes me do it anyway, even if I say I don't have to. She says twice a day is not enough, but I've got her down to three. She says I'll get sicker if I don't potty, but, gosh, there's no sense in going outside if I can't chase squirrels, especially if mom's going to put that human sling thing on me-- see previous post. Anyway, so mom asked for the duck. She said "bring me," which is like "sit" and "stay." If a human says those words, you have to do it. It's like a law, like the universal law of shedding. Well, I'm oh so hurt (dramatic effect-- practice this when the humans can't see you), and I know mom feels bad all the time, so I looked at her and got really excited-- I really did want to play-- and then at the duck , which I could almost reach without standing up, and then back at her and I cried-- I mean, not cried, I'm not a total poodle. I wimpered, a bit, a whine, a big dog whine, I mean a cool dog whine, but anyway, she got up, put down her book, got the toy and brought it to me. I got her to bring me every toy in the toy box that way. Humans are very easy to train if you are patient.

Then mom got another idea. I love it when she does that. She went to the car and got my car ride chewy, a purple disk-food dish rubber ball thing-- they aren't called that, but if you see one, and your name isn't Shinta, you should get one. Anyway, the two sides of the disk screw apart and mom puts my diet food in there. I can barely get it out, but it gives me something to chew on. Today she put in peanut butter and diet food. Then she said she might put yogurt or canned salmon in there and freeze it when I get home from surgery. She keeps using that word. I don't know what it means, but it sounds like I'll spend the night with doctors again, and I never like that, so I'm going to keep thinking about all that yogurt and salmon, my two favorite food groups.

And, today wasn't so bad. Mom and Kajaal, my roommate, lay on the floor with me with all of our muzzles together and played king of the mountain, but only just with our necks and heads. . . when you can only use two legs, you have to be creative. I'm glad Kajaal still plays with me even though she still can go for walks. She went for a walk today and I wanted to cry. Mom hasn't even touched my leash since before Santa Claus and it makes me sad. I hope she means it when she says I'll run again and swim and chase squirrels. She's doing lots of shopping right now-- shes' getting colorful things that are soft that go around my neck so I can't lick some places (boo--but they are pretty), and medicines that help joints heal (they taste nasty), and she's talking about getting a new bed that will fit inside my kennel, because she says I will need cage rest. . .but the kennel is a cage and it rests all the time, so I don't really know what that means. I just hope I can run soon.

Oh, and diet doggies, by the way, if your mom talks to other moms who are trying to get us to lose weight, and she comes home with the idea that dogs should eat pumpkin because it helps them lose weight, well, dude, I'm just saying sorry in advance. I mean, if you're hungry, you're hungry, and I'm not judging, but I let the spinach and the blueberries and the apples and parsley and garlic all go because I was hungry and wanted mom to be happy, but a dog has got to draw the line. I think I lost my opportunity. . .I finally ate the pumpkin---blech. Whose brilliant idea was it that dogs should eat THAT?? Mom says it's all a way to lose weight. . . .she says it's good for the surgery. The surgery. The surgery. OH well. . .

hmm. I wonder what trick I can teach mom next. ( I already have her giving leg massages on command too. . .she's so easy). I think I will write a book on human obedience.

Hi paws. Drop me a note, dogs. It's not like I can go out and find all the messages you leave me on the tree trunks!

Kayla